About a month and half ago I lost my job where I worked at the same company for about twelve years. Such is the nature of corporate life, right? Oddly enough I’m not bitter about it. After the initial shock, there was a feeling of relief. My time was long overdue.
Finding the right job, or should I say career, is a daunting task. It’s sobering to know that in this economy, the average search time to find something permanent is approximately a year. Would I ever be able to find something that I like? Would I be able to find something comparable to my salary from my previous position? What are the next steps?
I shared these thoughts with a coworker the day I was let go, and my coworker said, “Ani, maybe God wants you to be still.”
She was right, however it’s a struggle. It’s hard to convince your practical side to be still as it’s launching into survival mode. My severance pay isn’t going to last forever, and it’s possible that I’m going to be job hunting for a long while.
This has not stopped God from speaking through scripture, random Facebook quotes, or even a song on the radio. The overall theme was the same, “Be still.”
So I am practicing being ”still,” by applying my drawing skills. As many artists will tell you, the creative process can be a very spiritual one and I’ve had times where I received some wonderful insight from God just by making art.
I drew two sketches. The first one drawn in watercolor crayon on cold pressed paper depicts a woman sitting down cross-legged in silent meditation. This is funny because I accidentally drew her right foot backwards! Her hair is straighter so it looks like it’s standing straight on end.
A couple of weeks later, I drew a close-up of the face in colored pencil in my sketch book. In this sketch I drew an afro with a gray streak in the middle. The afro reminds me of a halo and will probably be a focal point in the final rendering. The background will be blue, the same color as the previous sketch, which the color of the Holy Spirit. I’ve also heard that on some psychic level a blue aura means wisdom.
So we’ll see how this all pans out. I’m going to complete the final work in chalk pastels. Pray that I find some insight into my circumstances as I work through this piece!